Applying these Principles to Myself!
Some days I get so focused on a few areas of life where I’m struggling – menu planning, sticking to a budget, making friends in our new community – that I actually feel like I’m a failure as a wife, mother, and sometimes even as a person.
The authors of “The Whole-Brain Child” would say I’m stuck out on the rim of my “wheel of awareness” (p. 93).
Picture the mind as a bicycle wheel, with a hub in the middle and spokes heading outward. The areas on the rim represent different aspects of yourself – anything you can notice such as thoughts, feelings, dreams, memories and physical sensations. The hub, on the other hand, represents the part of the brain that helps integrate all of the brain’s sections – left, right, top and
Picture the mind as a bicycle wheel, with a hub in the middle and spokes heading outward. The areas on the rim represent different aspects of yourself – anything you can notice such as thoughts, feelings, dreams, memories and physical sensations. The hub, on the other hand, represents the part of the brain that helps integrate all of the brain’s sections – left, right, top and bottom (see previous posts). It is called the prefrontal cortex and houses your self-awareness and ability to make good decisions.
Picture the mind as a bicycle wheel, with a hub in the middle and spokes heading outward. The areas on the rim represent different aspects of yourself – anything you can notice such as thoughts, feelings, dreams, memories and physical sensations. The hub, on the other hand, represents the part of the brain that helps integrate all of the brain’s sections – left,
bottom (see previous posts). It is called the prefrontal cortex and houses your self-awareness and ability to make good decisions.
right, top and bottom (see previous posts). It is called the prefrontal cortex and houses your self-awareness and ability to make good decisions.
When we become stuck on certain parts of the “rim,” we only see a part of our lives, and we can become vulnerable to confusing how we “feel” with who we “are.”
For example, instead of taking into consideration all of the wonderful memories I’ve created with my children this summer, I might think only of this morning when I left them in front of a screen for several hours in order to file paperwork and pay bills. I start by thinking, “I can’t believe I allowed the entire morning to go by without taking the kids outside. The weather was so beautiful, and now it’s blazing hot.”
And then the wheel of my mind begins to spin…
- I purchased a zoo membership three months ago and haven’t used it since.
- I wanted to teach my 11-yr-old to play his new guitar this summer, and the 1st day of school is only three weeks away.
- If only I didn’t have to visit my doctor every week to get ready for this baby, maybe I’d have time for…
As I jump from rim point to rim point, I find additional evidence to support the conclusion that I’m missing out on the lazy days of summer with my kids. #epicmomfail
Since reading “The Whole-Brain Child,” however, I’m working on taking a step back when the merry-go-round starts to race out of control (Whole Brain Strategy #10, pp. 110-118). If I can take a moment to pull back into my “hub,” I can choose to focus on other points along the rim of my mind.
When I did so, I realized that just this week:
- I played a card game with my 11-year-old after the little kids went to bed.
- I took my 13-year-old out for a smoothie after she got braces at the orthodontist
- I listened to a hilarious podcast with my 15-year-old on the drive home from his job as a corn detasseler. (If you’re not familiar with this summer job for teens, Google it. No making fun of Nebraska!)
Although the authors of “The Whole-Brain Child” do not offer a spiritual perspective, it is my experience that the enemy of our souls loves to draw attention to the difficult points on the “rim” of our lives and to highlight them in isolation from the rest of our “wheel”. God, on the other hand, resides in the “hub” – in a place of peace. There with Him I am reminded of my true identity as his beloved daughter. He assures me that in my weakness, His strength is made known (2 Cor. 12:9). With this renewed perspective, I can return to the challenges of my life and find real joy in their midst.
I hope you have enjoyed my reflections on “The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD. For more practical brain science applied to raising the next generation, check out their other book called “No Drama Discipline.”
My baby is due any day now (!), so I will be taking a break from blogging for a few months to rest & snuggle. However, we have a few guest bloggers lined up to offer their own unique perspectives and practical, down-to-earth reflections.
Stay tuned!